Wednesday, September 17, 2008
hmmm .... Dunno y today so damn gd mood !!
Well, everything is bak to normal, nth much happen.
went sch in the morning to rush my project which today is the submission, manage to complete it nicely , after tt went work lo at 5. was doing atruim and due its weekdays so there is kinda few customer for me to promote the hari raya cookies ^^ And there was a malay guy with his wife and 2 kids came and look ard the cookies , so i entertain them and he really have sense of humour and really joke alot with me , well i kinda must thanks him for really making my day happy!!!
Here's the conclusion i decided to make once everything starts to settle down peacefully , first is i will change a new blog (partly is tis blog is nt nice and it has jus way too many unhappiness inside). Change and settle down my personallity and start to go out play sports and be cheerful back and keep going out so tt i wount keep shutting myself up at home and keep anyhow thinking which is BAD !!!
And last but nt least, i kinda starts to have the mood in doing alot of things and sports etc etc !!
~PeaceOut~ (wonder how long i use tis 'PeaceOut' alr to show tat i am normal or happy mood)
Monday, September 15, 2008
My heart is crying again and again and again.
Yes, i can feel it again, i can feel my heart is crying again.....................
Everything i do i hurt people's feeling, EVERYTHING !!!! today i kinda hurt poh yee's feeling somehow at work . sucks and i am hurting another gal's feelings . i am so vex and moody while working today, dunno y, it jus happen. and i tried to msg them to hope if there is anything can change (or shouldi say i voice out my feelings abt how the way we (including me also) shuld change on the way we work) bt it does nt turn out gd.
Everything i do i hurt people's feelings, really ................. EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING AS LONG AS I AM THE ONE TT STARTED IT , IT WENT BAD WITHOUT EVEN NEED TO GUESS. It SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, i can feel it again, the same feeling i had during june/july period , i feel like jus fucking close myself off from EVERYONE jus nt to hurt other people again nor hurt myself anymore, i CANT take the torture any longer. IS TIS ALL WHAT MY PREVIOUS LIFE'S SIN TT I HAVE DONE AND I HAVE TO PAY IT BACK TIS YEAR OR MAYBE EVEN REST OF MY YEAR???
I ............... wanna close myself ............... i really feel like closing myself , jus shut the hell door between me and outseide world can i ???????
~ShutOut~
~HurtOut~
Saturday, September 13, 2008
NOTICE!!! TIS BLOG MAY BE DELETED SOON!!!
NOTICE!!!! Tis blog may be deleted soon as i may jus cr8 another new one. 90% of the post are nth but jus saying abt my inner sadness, regret, guilty, fustration and alot more negative things.
I myself see also tired of it let along ppl who read my blog , everytime passby my blog see was all the unhappiness and my emo side, see alr also sianz.
I am still thinking on whether to delete tis blog anot, for now it will still be running along with my past ................................
~NoticeOut~
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Have I FUCKING HELL BEEN CURSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK IT! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF TIS FUCKING WHOLE YEAR OF BAD LUCK, I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF ........................................................................................................ I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT .................................. CAN THE BAD LUCK JUS FUCK OFF AND STAY AWAY FROM ME ! IT HAS BEEN CURSING ME EVER SINCE TIS ENITRE YEAR EVEN TIL TIS MOMENTS!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Feeling ups and downs....... Again ..........
Well, first of all grats to eleanor for finding another new bf (must really treasure him tis time yea), i wish yr both sincerely to last forever, overcome and face every obstacles tgt ................................. Seems yr are really going well and u are able to always go out tgt to library and watch movies and etc etc and have him to always accompany u anywhere anyplace , tts good .............................. I AM GLAD FOR YR BOTH .............................................................
I wanna be like last time, went jogging, play badminton, went cycling, go out and enjoy instead of keep locking myself at home. I wanna have a taste back of old days when i had so much fun outside regardless of where and do wat and with anyone instead of locking myself at home. Here i am again , feeling down .......... i cnt help it .................. i need a push, i need freedom, i need ......... to breath .....................................
went to play badminton with my ITE junior on last wed (play at sch til 8pm where the sch is so dark and it was really fun cuz SO LONG since i am outside til so late (excluding work til late)) and ystd (Mon 1/9) at 'the frontier cc' for 2 hours . really had short taste of old days , those sweating when playing badminton with fierce opponent and the next day cramp all over my body. Its really fun ................. I am a sporty person, so if u ask me go out to shop i will gradually say no cuz no money and i dun like , ask me out for sports , hell yes ............................... bt it seems like its been so long since i have such fun ever since i last play badminton with YOU. its been so long and since than no one have play badminton with me not even with qx................................................
WHY AM I FEELING SO DOWN AGAIN ???????? ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz .................. I NEED A HUG.......... SERIOUSLY TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ................................................. WHY AM I CRYING NOW ???? SHIT I HATE TIS FEELINGS AGAIN .............
I THINK I MAY CHANGE MY BLOG SONG, IT MAKES ME CRY EVEN MORE WHEN I READING ON TIS POST WHILE LISTENING TO IT (IF U KNOW THE LYRICS U WILL KNOW Y) CALL ME A CRYBABY IF YR WAN ..................................................................
~GratsOut~
~OldDaysOut~
~CryOut~